Yet i still feel so insignificant, like perhaps, just a year 2... Like everything's still so brand new yet I seem to be familiar with them. And i wouldn't really consider this the best day of my life; what a way to start a new term.
Had a VERY tiring & long day... but thankyou Clare for all the gifts, i reallyreally love them LOTS. you kno i do right! More power to my Tofu-man collection! ;)
I wish the day had ended with me just being tired, i cannot believe i got caught up between my friends' r/s with each other. More like I won't take sides, & i'm not gonna take sides cos i respect the decisions that people make and i can't really say who's right or wrong in life cos whatever that someone wants to do, he/she faces whatever that come laa, even tho it might seem like a stupid decision. But everyone is stupid at some points in life.
Or worse, i don't even kno how or want to pass judgment on someone should behave or do! I admit i reallyreally suck big time at giving advice cos I'd say what i want to say or my POV but people usually like to listen to stuff they wanna hear. I'm really glad when people would trust me enough to confide certain things in their lives in me but sometimes i wish all i could give you were a pair of listening ears. And today, i think i've said what i have to say & perhaps have even said stuff that i shouldn't have said. I'm really sorry if i've stirred more shit but it really wasn't intentional at all.
And i learned today that, maybe i'm someone who's not even qualified to fall in love. Based on how i think i don't quite kno how to love someone. Maybe not the way that he expects of me... Or if i could love someone so much to put myself after him. I don't think i could do so, or even ever come across someone who could make me do so, as of now, at least. I don't even think i'll ever put in 100% of my love for someone cos it'd hurt too much, too great to take if everything were to end one day. I wish i could, but i haven't yet. And maybe i don't really wish for that to ever happen. To love with my capability and my best, yes, to my all that my life entitles, maybe not so. Maybe there's a little part of me that couldn't even let go of myself.
I can't believe that something that doesn't quite concern me got the whole of me today, leaving me so distraught. Becos i'm at a loss, and becos i'm upset cos both of them are my friends and it'd be so stupid OF ME to be caught in an awkward situation between the two of them! When it's none of my business to begin with! Hummpf! :(
How i wish i could erase the later part of today. Or maybe the whole of today. I promise i'd sleep earlier on Sunday night if everything could be renewed. I'm just so tired as the day has begun and ended already.
I wish i was disillusioned and never wake up from the spell. Ignorance might be bliss, sometimes.
Had a VERY tiring & long day... but thankyou Clare for all the gifts, i reallyreally love them LOTS. you kno i do right! More power to my Tofu-man collection! ;)
I wish the day had ended with me just being tired, i cannot believe i got caught up between my friends' r/s with each other. More like I won't take sides, & i'm not gonna take sides cos i respect the decisions that people make and i can't really say who's right or wrong in life cos whatever that someone wants to do, he/she faces whatever that come laa, even tho it might seem like a stupid decision. But everyone is stupid at some points in life.
Or worse, i don't even kno how or want to pass judgment on someone should behave or do! I admit i reallyreally suck big time at giving advice cos I'd say what i want to say or my POV but people usually like to listen to stuff they wanna hear. I'm really glad when people would trust me enough to confide certain things in their lives in me but sometimes i wish all i could give you were a pair of listening ears. And today, i think i've said what i have to say & perhaps have even said stuff that i shouldn't have said. I'm really sorry if i've stirred more shit but it really wasn't intentional at all.
And i learned today that, maybe i'm someone who's not even qualified to fall in love. Based on how i think i don't quite kno how to love someone. Maybe not the way that he expects of me... Or if i could love someone so much to put myself after him. I don't think i could do so, or even ever come across someone who could make me do so, as of now, at least. I don't even think i'll ever put in 100% of my love for someone cos it'd hurt too much, too great to take if everything were to end one day. I wish i could, but i haven't yet. And maybe i don't really wish for that to ever happen. To love with my capability and my best, yes, to my all that my life entitles, maybe not so. Maybe there's a little part of me that couldn't even let go of myself.
I can't believe that something that doesn't quite concern me got the whole of me today, leaving me so distraught. Becos i'm at a loss, and becos i'm upset cos both of them are my friends and it'd be so stupid OF ME to be caught in an awkward situation between the two of them! When it's none of my business to begin with! Hummpf! :(
How i wish i could erase the later part of today. Or maybe the whole of today. I promise i'd sleep earlier on Sunday night if everything could be renewed. I'm just so tired as the day has begun and ended already.
I wish i was disillusioned and never wake up from the spell. Ignorance might be bliss, sometimes.
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