i guess the following entry's gonna touch a pretty raw nerve in me.... hmmmmm.... i dunno if i shud do this but since it's a private blog (to like less than 10 of you), why not. and i'm not even sure if i know exactly what to say...
but i'll try. i think there's enuff of hiding going on.
i have never ever ever thought that things between a very close friend and me can get to this situation, but alas, it happened. it seemed to have happened before; being left aside and forgotten, but somehow we mended the friendship back. it wasn't that bad then, but to me, it was close to being bad enuff.
well, if you haven't guessed it right already, it has happened again. and to me, it was more of a case of being abandoned by a friend. i know i should try to be more understanding, that he's back and that you ought to spend time with him. but not even meeting up once? not to mention that there wasn't even any phone call nor sms from you. i hate to sound like a possessive friend, but you should know how much you mean to me in order to evoke such a feeling. i'm never someone who bothers too much bout others.
sure, i have many friends... but you should know our friendship isn't really like the rest... and if this is used all the more as a justification that i 'ought to understand', then i don't think i really do. i was disappointed more than being angry or upset.
and now that school has started, i'm even more surprised that a more than a month has passed since we have met nor really contacted with each other. we used to say that we can't imagine being without each other (gees, this really sounds gay! but yeh, i guess we were that tight) but we have proved ourselves wrong, haven't we? we went on well and we went on fine.... at least i did. but at times you pop up in my mind, thinking that we should be doing this or that together, and then it'll hit a raw nerve it me. and i think i hate that feeling. that mixed feeling.
i'm just disappointed at how insecure and vulnerable our friendship really is. and how you can just throw me aside... i know it wasn't meant to be this way, but i guess you weren't sensitive enuff that i feel this way.
and right now, i don't even know if things can get back to the way it did before. i don't know if i could, or if you could, after reading this.
i don't know if i'm holding on or letting go. or if i should do either which. i'm sorry i feel that way, i really am sorry. i think i can't help it.
but i'll try. i think there's enuff of hiding going on.
i have never ever ever thought that things between a very close friend and me can get to this situation, but alas, it happened. it seemed to have happened before; being left aside and forgotten, but somehow we mended the friendship back. it wasn't that bad then, but to me, it was close to being bad enuff.
well, if you haven't guessed it right already, it has happened again. and to me, it was more of a case of being abandoned by a friend. i know i should try to be more understanding, that he's back and that you ought to spend time with him. but not even meeting up once? not to mention that there wasn't even any phone call nor sms from you. i hate to sound like a possessive friend, but you should know how much you mean to me in order to evoke such a feeling. i'm never someone who bothers too much bout others.
sure, i have many friends... but you should know our friendship isn't really like the rest... and if this is used all the more as a justification that i 'ought to understand', then i don't think i really do. i was disappointed more than being angry or upset.
and now that school has started, i'm even more surprised that a more than a month has passed since we have met nor really contacted with each other. we used to say that we can't imagine being without each other (gees, this really sounds gay! but yeh, i guess we were that tight) but we have proved ourselves wrong, haven't we? we went on well and we went on fine.... at least i did. but at times you pop up in my mind, thinking that we should be doing this or that together, and then it'll hit a raw nerve it me. and i think i hate that feeling. that mixed feeling.
i'm just disappointed at how insecure and vulnerable our friendship really is. and how you can just throw me aside... i know it wasn't meant to be this way, but i guess you weren't sensitive enuff that i feel this way.
and right now, i don't even know if things can get back to the way it did before. i don't know if i could, or if you could, after reading this.
i don't know if i'm holding on or letting go. or if i should do either which. i'm sorry i feel that way, i really am sorry. i think i can't help it.
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